Rules Of Engagement:Locked and Loaded
When we think rules of engagement we usually think military exercises. Huge tanks rolling towards the front lines and fighter jets patrolling the skies, what I’m describing is war and no you are not on the wrong page. You’re probably wondering why I’m speaking on war,well, is every encounter not a battle? In which you declare undivided attention and wage a war of words. Is every handshake not a peace treaty? Is every associate not an ally and every foe not an adversary? Although these are the dynamics are completely different I believe a gentleman’s approach is very similar to a soldiers, there is a sense of readiness, fiery will, and an unflappable composure when things are getting rough. These two are modern-day knights and while one excels in combat and thee other the essence of etiquette they both do whatever it takes to complete their respective missions. In this section we will go over a multitude of ways to engage yourselves with the people in the world around you, it is important to know the dos and don’ts of introductory so without further adieu here are 3 rules for engagement.
Rule No.1:Work out the kinks in your armor
People will not engage with you if you are having a bad day and your body language is mute and/or unenthusiastic, nor will they talk to you if your attitude is out of line and your mood is snappy. That is not a way to make a good first impression and many of the aforementioned dismay wouldn’t even warrant you a second chance at redeeming yourself. Ask yourself this; if a friend of yours wanted you to meet a friend of theirs and that friend of theirs was an ignorant, rude, belligerent piece of work would you honestly want to meet them? Perhaps you would do it anyway out of respect for your friend but once again would you WANT to do it? Nobody likes nasty persona’s and as human beings we ALL have times we’re off the wall and moments we wish we could have back so let’s try our best to leave those angry birds in their cages where they belong and prepare ourselves to fascinate all those around us. Everybody is interesting because everyone has a different walk of life they hail from and a different story to tell and it will be up to you to unlock everyone’s hidden treasures and in the process putting the X on your own treasure map, find yourself for you are golden. Before you can step on the battlefield and conquer others with your charisma you must first conquer yourself. Many people are so socially awkward because they lack confidence in themselves, these are people who still internally fighting from within and are not yet ready to engage with others on a proficient level of communication. We all need work so work on yourself a little, so trainyourself.
Rule No.2:Impressions are lasting and numerous
Impressions don’t just stop when you first meet someone, that’s why its called a FIRST impression, there will be seconds and thirds and fourths and so on and so forth. From the time you meet someone to the next time you see that person your impression will be lasting and it will hold an image of yourself and your character so it is VERY essential you make positive impressions ESPECIALLY if there are extended lapses between your first impression to your second to your third and etc. For example; If you are meeting your girlfriend’s parents for the first time and you’re late for dinner and when you finally arrive for dinner you eat like a pig you just made a bad first impression. Now first impressions are very vital but if the time interval between the two are short than there is time to redeem your recklessness, let’s go back to dinner for another example; Yes you were late and practiced terrible dinner etiquette BUT you were able to soften the blow with a great post dinner conversation about yourself and shared a couple funny stories,this effort was more positive and you just made a second impression. Since the interval between your first impression and second impression was short you were able to minimize if not erase the damage you did the first time, it’s very convenient if you have time on your side when meeting people for the first time because lots of those times you can ‘Re-introduce’ yourself. Sometimes that’s not always the case though and what if you didn’t have the time at dinner share a funny story or didn’t elaborate about yourself? What if 5 or 6 months past after your first impression? Your girlfriend’s parent’s would have that ONE terrible impression you left to go by on, that will make your second impression that much harder because so much time would have elapsed and their idea of you has already been ingrained,tragic right? So, how can we avoid this? Well you can’t spell impression without impress right? Always wear your charisma as if it were your favorite shirt because you never know when impressions will present themselves! In fact your charisma will attract people to you like a moth to a flame! Your attire must be tasteful, your persona on it’s P’s and Q’s, your language served on a silver platter and your listening skills ready to engage but most of all impress yourself than be yourself, or in the words of a soldier, Be all you can be. This may all seem difficult and overwhelming but it’s not, relax, yes impression are important but you will have a plethora of opportunities to establish yourself with people, you may not win them all but I guarantee if you heed this rule you’ll win most of them.
Rule No.3:Establish Chemistry
Once you have kicked your own tires and made that lasting impression on your fellow co-workers, boss, lady friend or what have you it’s time to establish a chemistry that will be in constant effect. An impression is how someone views you but chemistry is how they feel so let’s leave positive vibes, one way to do so is to look your acquaintance the eye when you talk to them, eye contact symbolizes trust and respect which I very important when creating a connection with someone. If your eye contact is making them uncomfortable than they are not ready and refrain from doing so, chances are you have to get to know them a little more which is fine, every one has different comfort clocks. If your eye contact is effective however the next way to establish chemistry is to smile at them, yes smiling is very critical as it makes them feel like they are interesting and fun to be around, a grand feeling for sure and plus smiling is a little less piercing than eye contact so if need be smile a lot before you make your eye contact, doing both at the same time is also effective as the smile takes a little bit off your gaze. If your accomplice has any nicknames ask them if you can refer to them by that name as it also makes the connection process and their conformity much better, it’s also a sign of trust as not everyone likes just anybody to call them by their nickname, I know I sure don’t. If and when all these steps are successful the final thing to do is execute a physical connection so handshakes, hugs, pats on the back are all in play here but caution! You have to really have made great impressions and earned much respect to do these without your accomplice feeling somewhat awkward, if the physical contact is noticeably uncomfortable to them than stop and lightheartedly regain control of the situation. Apologize if you need to because it’s understandable that some people don’t want to be touched, give it time before you try again as you will need to regain the trust you just lost. If your attempts are successful however and your physical connections worked than you have just establish a cool and positive chemistry! What this does is not only leave a lasting image but also a lasting feeling that this person can carry around with them and share with their friends. Chemistry will draw people to you as well for it’s always nice to have good connections with a great person. So take that next step if rules number and two have worked out for you, this just maybe what you were missing.
If you were having trouble establishing a relationship with someone I hoped this segment has helped, I try to build a positive chemistry with my readers while helping them so I hope I myself was successful on both ends, let me know if I was in the comments below and please drop a like while you can. I hope your inner soldier read this as well, take it as a briefing and execute it until your mission is a success. We here at Perfect Gentlemen thank you all for your time! Have a great day and we hope to see you again.